Music && Writing

2. I have never been able to have one favorite song. My song preferences change all the time. One week, there will be two or three songs that I listen to over and over and by the next week they've changed again even if I end up coming back to the first ones.

3. When I lived in the country as a younger kid, all I listened to was country. Thats the only music I even thought existed besides classic rock. It was the only music I knew of until I heard hip hop for the first time in fifth grade and thats when my music choices started changing. For a while, all I would listen to was 96.5 and then I discovered rock, hard rock, screamo, etc. I started listening to different kinds of music in that genre and my music knowledge just kept growing and growing. Now I listen to whatever I feel like listening to.

4. I definitely think parents and others around you have a huge influence on the music you listen to. Ex: I was raised in the country and that was all I knew until I spent more time in the "city".

5. Jessica is pretty much the exact same as me. She likes almost anything and everything. Whatever kind of mood we're in is the kind of music we'll listen to. I think it just means we have some things in common.

7. Without music, my life would be boring.

8. I admire the music of everyone, because everyone has their own right to making their own music. Music is music whether or not I like it. It still takes skill and courage to make your own music and put yourself out there for the world to judge you. I admire anyone who can do that.

Theres Nothing Like Those Days

When I was little, I used to live with my biological father in Marshfield every other weekend. Everytime I was there, we would usually go to my grandmas for breakfast. Grandma ALWAYS made me pancakes because that was my favorite. It was the only thing I ever wanted, but my cousin Jessi didn't like pancakes. She liked biscuits and gravy which I hated. Just because Jessi and I always liked different things she would make both, every morning. The rest of the family that came for breakfast was tired of pancakes and biscuits and gravy but Jessi and I never could be.
I always thought that was awesome for her to do. To go out of her way just to make both of us happy. Not only did she do that, but she made the best pancakes ever, always from scratch. Well, most of the time. I loved it because she would always let me help. Once I got old enough I pretty much started doing it on my own. Jessi would help make the biscuits and gravy so I helped make the pancakes. We used to have so much fun and pancakes are still my favorite breakfast to this day. I even still love cooking them too just because it reminds of those weekends where we had family time, sat around the table together laughing and smiling, with all sorts of smell goods floating in the air, stuffing our faces.

Nothing but the sound of birds singing and dishes clanking in the kitchen

Nothing but the smell of sweet and salty mixed together with a hint of grease

Nothing but the feeling of happiness, calmness, and hunger

Nothing but the thought of which ingredient comes next, how much

Or when is the food going to be ready?

....Nothing but the sight of my favorite food laying in front of me

Nothing but the sweet, sticky syrup mixed with fluffy, circular bread laying on my tongue

Nothing but the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction

Nothing but the sound of chewing, slirping, the occasional small talk in between mouthfulls and two little girls giggling at little things

.....Nothing like being with my cousin, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, father

sitting at one table, together

No TV, no radio, just country and cows and hummingbirds outside of the window

Nothing like those mornings

Food?

My favorite unhealthy foods:

CHINESE FOOD

Reeses

Snickers

Ruffles chips

Pancakes, biscuits and gravy, mac and cheese with ketchup, lunchables, and frozen pizzas remind me of my childhood. Pancakes and biscuits and gravy remind me of my childhood because when I used to live in Marshfield I would go to my Grandma Goedens for breakfast all the time. My cousin and I are six months apart so we've always been really close. Jessi always loved biscuits and gravy but I didn't like them. I loved pancakes. Just because Jessi and I had different things we liked grandma would always make them both. We also always got to help which is always fun as a kid. I miss those days. Mac and cheese with ketchup reminds me of when it was just my mom and I living together in the seminole apartments in springfield. She's never liked to cook so we had "white trash dinner" a lot! (and still do haha) I would always put a small side of ketchup on my plate and my mom would always give me crap for it and say that was disgusting. It bugged me that she teased me and thats why she did it all the time. Looking back on it I always laugh. I miss those days too. Lunchables and frozen pizza... thats what we always had in the apartment to eat. Hah

More expensive=special?

I, personally, do not think that just because something is more expensive. it's special. When something is special to me it's because I made it special. Whether it was through a moment a I had with someone, a coincidence of somekind, something memorable. Money doesn't make everything better.

FOOD

What is your specialty or dish you're known for among your family/friends?

Coach Hawxby: he is the main cook but nothing in particular stands out besides the fact that he is the one making thanksgiving dinner for everyone!

What food(s) remind you of someone you love? Your child? Spouse? Parents?

Mrs. Nunez: oatmeal because her grandma always made the best oatmeal. Her mom tried making it for her once and Mrs. Nunez said it just wasn't the same, didn't taste as good. Then she watched her grandma make the oatmeal one morning and she put a whole BUTTERSTICK in the oatmeal. haha She goes ooooooh! Thats why it tastes so different.

What is the strangest or weirdest food you've tried or would like to try?

Coach Hawxby: alligator, snails, octupus, cavier, frog legs, calf fries(testicles) and lamb fries(testicles) EW!

Which foods do you really dislike or refuse to eat?

Ms. Bernhard: anything green except lettuce, cabbage, and celery

El Porvenir=Future

I think that it would be awesome to go into an art institute for college but the problem is I don't think the class descriptions are exactly what I would want to with my art. I'm not really into designing anything, building anything. I just like to draw. I don't know a career that I could carry when all Im doing is drawing and painting. Sell them for money? I like to keep my originals. What if people didn't even like my art? An art institute just doesn't seem right to me really. I don't think it would take me where I want to go. I don't even know where I want to go yet. Im so confused. And the sad thing is I need to start figuring this crap out soon! AHHHHHHH!

But On That Night...

Dad staggered in, eyes eerily lit.
The corners of his mouth foaming spit.
His demons planned an overnight stay.
mom motioned to take the girls away,

hide them in their rooms, safe in their beds.
We closed the doors, covered our heads,
as if blankets could mute the sounds of his blows
or we could silence her screams beneath our pillows.

I hugged the littlest ones close to my chest,
till the beat of my heart lulled them to rest.
Only then did I let myself cry.
Only then did I let myself wonder why

Mom didn't fight back, didn't defend,
didn't confess to family or friend.
Had Dad's demons claimed her soul?
Or was this, as well, a woman's role?

I recently read this passage from a book called "Burned" by Ellen Hopkins. It's one of the several books from the Crank series. As soon as I read this, I knew this would be the passage I would write about in my blog for the assignment we were given even though it's not my top favorite book. I love it so far though. Anyways... abuse is a big, big, big ordeal to me. I am a full believer of equality of not only race but men and women. Discriminating against women because of religion (the girl in the story is mormon) is a huge pet peeve of mine. Discriminating against women in general is terrible. I know it's just what some people believe and I can't put them down but I still have right to my own opinion. There is no "woman's role". Women have their own mind, their own feelings, their own everything. Men hitting, controlling, etc. their wives is disgusting. I will never let myself be in a position where a man is physically or mentally abusing me. I watched my mom go through bad relationships, I dealt with it with her. I'm done with it. Nobody should ever have to deal with people like that.

Writers as Readers:

1. When I read, I have to be comfortable. No matter what time of day, what the weather is like, what mood I'm in, I have to be comfortable. Everything else about my reading atmosphere completely depends on my mood, the weather, etc. Sometimes I like to be in really bright lights but sometimes I want to be in nicely dimmed, chill lights. Sometimes I like to have snacks like chocolate, a sandwich, anything soft but sometimes I want to be eating something crunchy and salty. I usually like to be in a quiet environment but when Im having a rough day, sitting in class, people won't shut up, and just need to get out of this world for a while, I drift off into the world of my book that Im currently reading. The type of book Im reading, or the excitement or action of the book will also influence my preferences for the day, too.

5. One book I will never forget was called "Dangerous Girls". It's been so long, 5 years to be exact, since I've read it and I still rememeber the three days it took me to read this book. Back then for me that was fast, really fast. I could not put this book down. It was the first book of this kind that I had ever read so it captured me, intrigued me. Everywhere I went the book was right beside me if not shoved in my face. I wouldn't put it down unless I had to. A few years later I tried reading it again because I remembered how much I loved it and I just couldn't get into it. I can't read books more than once like I can watch movies more than once.
If there was ever a book I had to trudge through, it must've been aweful or I didn't finish it because I can't think of one.

10. I know what kind of books I like, what kind of genres I like, and I also know what kind of books I would definetly not be able to get into. I don't know if everyone is always that sure about what they like, most likely not because it took me a long time to figure it out, but when you do know and read a passage or a summary of a book sometimes you just know you would not like this book or you just know you wouldn't be able to get into it. Thats how it is for me anyways. I think you get first impressions of a book like you do people.

11. When I write, honestly I don't usually plan on showing anyone so I don't think about who's going to be reading it. When I don't envision someone looking at my pieces it's easier for me to not hold anything back, just let it all out. I love that feeling.

12. I think that people who read more than others could become better writers. They have seen more variety in the way books have been written, like their structure, vocabulary, etc. But, also, some people just don't have writing in their blood. They may be a champion at reading but can't write a story to save their life. i think it differs.

13. I have no idea if I could ever write a book someday and possibly publish it for the whole world to see. And if I did I have no idea what it would be about. Maybe life? My life? My experiences? Theres so many and I don't know if I could tell the whole world about my secrets.

She's faceless...

"I see a faceless girl but she won't look at me and I feel like I know her." She turns towards me but I still can't see her face for it is blurred. As I walk towards her, it's as if she has a ring of coldness around her. The closer I became, the colder I was. I can feel a million emotions radiating off of her making my head spin in circles. One after another and another and all mixed together. "It's like at the slightest touch they'll all break loose in a domino effect, crumbs of chalky bones being spit out in chunks."

Writers' Dreaming

3. In my opinion, Maya Angelou has a point when she says she doesn't even like to talk about her bad dreams because it gives them more power. To me it's the same thing with drama, fights, bad news, etc. I have noticed with myself if something bad or upsetting happens, the more I talk about it the more it bothers me because the more Im thinking about it. Talking about it also shows that it is something that you believe is worth talking about which gives it more power. The more you talk, the more people hear about it, so most likely they're going to talk, and the chain just keeps going. I think whatever you want to have power will have power.

4. I think dreams can do a lot of things, I believe they can reveal things about ourselves that we don't realize, reveal things that we're worried about or having thoughts about that maybe we don't want to admit. I say this because I have had dreams where I realized what had been bothering me so much and I didn't like it and I didn't want to admit it but I knew it was true. Dreams can be very powerful.

10. I definetly agree with Nathaniel Wests quote, "Easy reading is damned hard writing." When i write I usually want to get a point across but sometimes I just can't find the right words to do that. Thats probably the most frustrating thing to me when Im writing.